A Ratty Old Box

From day #1 that we come into this earth our minds are doing something that we’re completely unaware of. As each new experience happens, as we encounter each new smell, sight and sound, with every person that crosses our path, a biological questions forms, and it looks just like a box. The complexity of this question matures with us. Some individuals find it early, others can live their whole lives without realizing it until those last few golden years. At childhood it’s easy to ignore this question with the thought of new toys, the sadness of our sibling not sharing with us. As the days go by we keep pushing it aside by filling our head with “How am I going to be more popular today – I’m only a freshman”. A few short years later this “biological question” is still collecting dust in the attic of our humanity. We keep stacking things on top of it, “How am I going to pay for college?”, “Why doesn’t he/she like me?”, “Am I ready to get married?”, “Am I going to be a good Mom/Dad”, “We’re out of formula again”. “I don’t know if I can afford retirement yet”.   

Finally when it’s time to get affairs in order, when we’re looking through the attic of old collected memories we take a deep breath and blow the decades of dust off of a thought that has been with us since that day we first came to this place. It's just this ratty old box. We read the child-written words spelled in golden crayon “Why am I here?”

“What am I going to do with this!?” we ask.” I can’t put it in the stack of hobbies, or over here in the pile of family memories. Ah! I’ll put it here in the “Church” stack – oh wait… there’s not enough room. What do I do with this dusty old box?” “-If only I had found it sooner I could have made a place for it, and filled it with such wonderful things.”.

Any of you (who I imagine are few) who read my blogs know that I really like to write about the human element. Lifting up people, doing good, not judging. The past 7 months have been a serious eye opener for me. I am by no means perfect. I have gotten short sighted more than a few occasions – I’m not writing this to boast and say how good I am, or how everybody should be like me. That’s seriously narcissistic I’m trying to make a point and share an insight of what I’ve seen and hopefully improve the hope I have for our future generations.

Firstly – back to that dusty old question- We’re here to learn. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, it happens. A life without regrets isn’t worth living, if you let yourself go, you might fly.

Second – we’re here to teach. What’s the point of going through all that pain and heartache if someone is going to walk right behind you and fall into that same dad-gum hole? Improve things. Don’t tear others down because they don’t have the same knowledge, status, or ability as you. Teach what you know, because you might learn a thing or two.

Third – the reason why the words were written with a gold crayon. We’re here to love. The two greatest commandments. Love the Lord with all your heart, and my favorite – love thy neighbor as thyself.

The sooner we open this box in our lives the more wonderful things we can put into it. Think of it as our celestial U-haul. It’s the only box that we can take with us and the only box that we can keep sharing once our time is over.

Why are we here? Stop sneezing from all that dust you’ve put on top of your box it and start figuring it out. How full can you make it?

Words Of The Work

So I gave another talk in sacrament meeting this week. And most of y'all kno I like to record my talks. So here's the latest Sunday sermon by yours truly. Let me know if you'd like the audio and I'll send it to you. Enjoy!!!

 Good morning brothers and sisters! Im thankful for this opprotunity to talk to you today, I'm thankful for Brother Foss for asking me to talk.  Brother Foss is about the only guy I know who can get away with using the word "Facet" in a text message. That's pretty cool. So with his  inspiration we're going to be talking about a few words today.  To give you a little background on me, I grew up in a little town just south of here called St. David. And I'll let you in on a little fun fact; we drive our tractors to school down there. I served my mission in St. David, Phoenix Arizona, Sacramento California, Thatcher Arizona, and now  I'm here in Tucson. About 5 years ago, I was at a doctor's office. They made me run on a treadmill, had all sorts of wires hooked up to me watching my heart. They did these cool sonogram things; there wasn't a baby... They did these awesome sonogram things on me, and it was at that Dr's appointment that I found out that I found out that I wasn't going to be able to serve a full-time mission. It was rough! I'm not going to lie. Ever since I was 8 years old I had thought about going to a crazy country and learning a foreign language and being like my brothers. About 2 years ago I was really struggling with that fact, and I kinda felt like a second class citizen in the church just because I wasn't able to go out and serve a mission. I sat down and I talked with my bishop; coolest dude ever. What he said to me was so cool, he said "Brother Merrill, It's true that you never went out and served a mission, but you know what else is true? You still haven't come back from yours yet either." I know we hear it a lot in this church, we have a phrase "Every member a missionary". Most of us aren't sure what we should do, or what we should say, or how we should say it. I've served as a Ward Missionary in (nearly) every single ward I've been to. One thing that I've found out about missionary work, is that in order for that phrase "Every Member a missionary" to be true, missionary work has to be simple. There are manny of us in this church who are deaf, some of us are blind, some have DOWNS Syndrome, some have physical ailments, some are bald...(Looks over at bishop) But "SIMPLE" is the first word of missionary work. Because I wasn't able to serve on a mission, and wear a cool little name tag and everything there's a bit of a "friendly rivalry" between myself and the full-time missionaries back there. They say "Follow the prophet" well President Monson, didn't serve a mission neither did President  Uchtdorf, or President Eyring, either did Elder Packer. So..... Ha! There's a rumor, a myth that Eskimos have 40 or 50 different words for the word "snow". The way it looks, its weight, the way it falls from the sky, Im not sure if that's true or not, but I've heard it. I think the same to be true for missionary work. The people who we talk to, the acts  that we do, the way it makes you feel, It's grandeur. I think there could be 100 different words for missionary work. So "simple" being the first word...  3rd Nephi (Chap. 27;v.21) Verily, verily, I say unto you. this is my gospel; and ye know the things that ye must do in my church; for the works which ye have seen me do  that shall ye also do; for that which ye have seen me do even that shal ye do. Section 31 in Docterine and Covenants (v. 3) Lift up your heart and rejoice, for the hour of your mission is come; and your tongue shall be loosed, and you shall declare glad tidings of  great joy unto this generation.  Now in that old adage "Every member a missionary" I want to add a few words to that. I'm going to re-write the history books. I'm going to add in there: "Every member a FULL-TIME missionary" and not "full-time" in the sense of 2 years. A full-time job, a full-time student, a full-time missionary.  The next word of missionary work that I'm going to discuss is a "four-letter" word. I hear it tossed around the hangar when I go to school, I hear it in movies every once in a while, and it kinda pains me that I have to say this word at the pulpit, but the next "four-letter" word of

missionary work is "Single" (single adult?? Come on guys). As in a single act, a single gesture, a single word, a single "Hello!". A single thing that we can do as members of  this great church to lift up the people who hang around us.

Girls; I wanted to say to you guys, I've heard it time, and time again, and its kind of rough, but I've heard people say that you should not date guys who have not served a mission. It makes me feel like dirt. I want you guys to seek after the full time missionaries WITHOUT NAME TAGS. Go  for the guys who have missionary moments every day. So that way, when you're 14 Centuries old, and you receive a letter from Salt Lake City, calling you and your petrified stud-muffin to do family history work, its gonna be just another day in paradise, because you've grown together  serving a mission.  (humorously) That's right... In 2nd Nephi Chapter 10 (v. 23) Therefore. cheer up your hearts. and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves -- to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life. The next word of missionary work is to "act". Take action. Nothing is going to happen if we just sit there or walk by. A couple of years ago when I was "serving my mission" in Phoenix, my car broke down. And I've got to tell you guys it was like THE perfect time for your car to break down.  It was the weekend, no plans, money in the bank, time to fix it, a simple fix. So my car broke down, I walked to the auto parts store, picked up my starter and on my way back, this lady was walking out of her house. She had a crutch under one arm and I thought "I bet she's coming out to check her mail" because I saw the mail truck go by. I thought "I should probably get her mail for her, that's probably why she was walking out here". Before I could even ask her if she wanted me to get her mail she called out and asked if I had a cell-phone that I could let her use. I  gave her my cell phone, and she was actually calling a cab. We got to talking and while we were talking there; dont ask me how the conversation came up but we started talking about the gospel and I shared a few things about what I believe. She told me how much she had admired the LDS people as wierd as we are. She was really greatful because one year when she didn't have any money for christmas, and no time to go out and go shopping, she heard a knock on her door on Christmas Eve. When she opened it nobody was there but her whole front porch was filled up with gifts and food and things she needed, and a few weeks later the bishop of the ward of that area organized a service project, and the elders came down and cleaned up her yard. Simple things, or actions that we do go a long way as far as missionary work is concerned. I would encourage you guys to think of ways that you can ACT rather than just standing by. Just open your mouth and share something with someone you know about the church and why you're so happy. Paul tells us how to be missionaries, he says: (Titus Ch. 3 v. 1-6) Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates. to be ready to every good work, To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness to all men.  For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures. living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared.  Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; And that brings me to the last four letter word of missionary work and that is "Love". It's the centerpiece of everything we do, it's why we're here. That's why we're going to be talking to these people, we want to share our love. So the next time you're not sure of what to do, or how you can be a good missionary, or how you can have missionary experiences in your life, remember the words of missionary work: "SIMPLE, SINGLE ACTS of LOVE". That's what missionary work is all about.  Be a light unto the world. The spirit of Man is the candle of the Lord Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. For behold this is my work and my glory -- to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.                         (Proverbs 20:27 -- Matthew 5:15-16 -- Moses 1:39) I promise you all that if you take initiatave and do those "simple, single acts of love" to your peers around you, if you say that one kind thing, you're going to be happier. I promise that. I promise you're going to learn something new with each experience you have.  I want to let you guys know I'm thankful to be in this ward, I'm thankful for this church. I'm thankful for the people in this ward and I want you to know that I love each one of you. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Lifting Up 2012

A New year strikes again.
It seems like every year I make a goal that will instill improvement in my life. Some of my past goals have been to gain weight, run a marathon, vacation outside the U.S. And somehow each goal seems to roll on to the next year. This year I'm trying something different. I'm gonna try to help the world out a little. Instead of improving myself, My goal this year is to try to improve as many people as I can. I heard a quote today and it said "Be the change you want to see" After hearing that bit if striking imagery I'd like to post some of my goals for 2012. I can use all the help I can get, so please feel free to make them your own and spread the word.I am a member of a pretty well known church. I love my faith, however I feel that a lot of people in my ward meetings have lost sight of some things that matter most. I don't have one single close friend in my ward. Not one. There is nobody that I would feel comfortable calling up if I was having a bad day. Not a soul that I think I would want to call if I had gotten a flat tire. I consider that a problem. After all we do call each other "Brothers and sisters". I'm aiming for the people like me. The ones who are SCREAMING inside saying "HEY! There's nothing wrong with me why are you ignoring me?" I'm gonna befriend the Elders who got sent home. I'm gonna put my arm around that guy who is staring at the ground. I'm torn because I have been in those shoes.A goal of mine is to lift others up. They say to loose your burdens you must first lift up anther's. There is hurt EVERYWHERE. I'll admit, I've been a terd myself at some points. I've hurt some people by my words or actions, but improvement is my goal. I've got a yellow rubber armband that says "LIVESTRONG", A ring that says "CTR", abbreviated for Choose The Right. I'm going to make/order another band that says "Lift and Strengthen" It's gonna remind me of what I'm supposed to be and do. A true friend. If anyone wants one let me know I'm sure you gotta order like 20 or something. Lets start strengthening those feeble knees. There are broken homes, disabilities, fears, disorders, and unless you've got the magnifying glass of friendship, You'll never see it. Let's strengthen our stakes, our families, and our communities. Let's declare war on those broken homes, lonely nights, Let's make our kids have a new rule of picking teams on the playground; the kid who gets picked last goes on the winning team.
I know this sound somewhat euphoric. I know there are going to be rough days. Life happens. What I'm going for is letting it happen, but still have someone that can say "dang man, That sucks. How can I help?"

2012. Let's Strengthen.

You know when you're in my town...

You know when you're in my town...

You know you are in my town when you cross a bridge and on the other side the first thing you see is open pasture with cows, windmills, and a big church in the distance. You know it's MY town because on a Friday night all the trucks are parked around the football or baseball field, during the day, there are tractors parked in the student parking lot. When they're not playing ball, or plowing their fields, you can bet there is a bonfire out in the wash somewhere. It sounds like a country song or like a storybook, but truth is, that's really what it's like. 
You don't get much rap music thumping around here, if you do it's either Mr. Gartin or Mr. Clerc down for the weekend visiting the family. Our taste of music is the singular country station polluted with a light static, but we don't mind it. We just listen anyway. 
There's people who say the small town feel doesn't exist anymore. Well tell them to come on over and mom will bake the meanest apple pie they've ever had, and prove them wrong. 
This place is something you have to experience. I can't tell you what it's like, but if you listen to a few country songs you can get a taste of it. Kinda like a light blue faded Levi feel. It's just comfortable.

Life's Good

My instructor has a saying he uses almost every day in class. He usually poses it in the form of a question, and it's almost as if he's asking "do you understand" or "we are continuing on now"
the phrase: Life's Good.
He'll explain some procedures and proceed like: "Now that we know the planes center of gravity, life's good right?" then finish up the rest of the steps to the problem.
Life's good. Thats an interesting way of putting it. 
Every year, every single aircraft in the sky undergoes an annual inspection which is mandatory for the FAA. As part of this inspection, the main support beams are checked for cracks corrosion and dents. The steering controls are checked for proper function and balance. The skin of the plane is inspected for missing rivets. Not only the engine, but all of the fuel lines are checked and scrutinized. 
Our lives are flying right before our eyes. Are we in good shape structurally and internally? When was the last time we took a look at ourselves? What is holding us together? Are our family supports properly fixed into place? Is our compass giving us a proper bearing to our goals? How is our engine of faith running? Are the fuel lines plugged with any filth? Have the stresses from our flight caused dents and missing rivets in our self-esteem? Sometimes we may feel so unable to steer, we begin to wonder if we should grab our parachute and open the cabin door. 
Life's good.
Damage happens. Sometimes a whole flock of problems fly into your plane get plastered on our windscreen and chopped in the propellers, and there wasn't anything you could have done to avoid them. Other times it only takes one small pigeon of hurt or remorse to cripple our flight. Just because something blasted a hole in our hope, or our self confidence is stalled out, doesn't mean we shouldn't, or rather can't, make repairs. And in come the checklists. 
Life's good. 
I have friends who have come from broken homes, struggle with their spouse, been raped, abused, drugs, and affairs. It's a myriad of sad stories. It took them one step at a time. They rebuilt their lives by knowing their potential to fly to great heights. They knew they were worn down, but they also knew that broken things can be replaced. They knew Life's Good. One girl who was raped told me she was tired of having her happiness sucked out of her. Her healing stirred up memories of the event. But she knew she needed to leave behind the things that were holding her down. One by one she patched her holes. Replaced her engine. Cleaned out her lines. She's still not flying quite yet, but getting closer. 
Life is good. Please guys, if something is keeping your life on the ground replace it. Make repairs. Let people who love you into your life. If it's broken, fix it. Don't keep sitting around with the hurt. Don't waste time. You only get one shot at this life. Start soaring, start living. When you have that freedom, that smile, and good feelings knowing you've made yourself better. You'll know.
Life's Good. 

I've Lost My Mojo!

Dang. August is half over, I can't believe I've been down here for 3 months!  Thats nuts! My classes start in 7 days! So far the move down here hasn't lived up to the hype. I've really been struggling to find new friends. I don't know if it's something in the water or what, but I've lost my mojo! I turned in to a shy little wall flower! It's a pretty big shock to my personality to go from a social butterfly who's always rock climbing, eating sushi, relaxing out by the river, all with friends!  To a guy who wakes up, goes to work, comes home, eats dinner and all the while hoping that someone calls. But in a way, I guess it's kind of a good thing. Once school kicks in I'll be pulling 17 hour days. Awake at 6 in bed at midnight... Every day. I won't have time for friends. And it really really scares me to say that.
I really started falling for this girl, but I just won't have time to give to a relationship now. I want nothing more than to take her out and introduce her to the STUD known only as Ryan Freakin Merrill, but it wouldn't be fair to either of us. And besides as I mentioned earlier I lost my mojo! Haha I feel so embarrassed when I talk to her. Geez! It's like freakin high school all over again! What happened to the guy who made it a point to get the number of every new girl in the ward??? Hahaha. I miss him! 
I'm excited to be able to be moving forward with my life and career, I've been saving up for a house when I get done with school. Hopefully I'll be able to get a chunk of land that I can have a small garden and a few animals. Namely my dog :) 
18 months and I'm there. If a single mom working full time can do it, then THIS single guy can do it. Bring on the Schoolasticality :) I eat stress for breakfast. 

Power Up!

I was standing in front of the mirror tonight getting ready to go out. I looked at my reflection long and hard. I asked myself "Who are you?" my humor engaged and my answer was "I am number five.".
I've always loved superhero movies. The good guys get to blow stuff up with their mind, turn invisible, Run with super speed, you name it! When I was a kid I would pray to Heavenly Father, and beg for super powers. I promised and promised and swore cross my heart hope to die, that I would never ever flip to the bad guys side. I would only use my powers for good things. To help people who needed it.
When I was 13 I got the answer to that prayer. The very first words of my patriarchal blessing. "You are a special person"
Everybody I've ever talked to describes me as "The Nice Guy" and who wants that right? I'll take adjectives like funny, energetic, or random before I'd settle for "nice". My parents and grandparents have drilled into my head that I need to treat others how I want to be treated. If I was having a bad day, I'd want someone to talk to. If I was sick in bed, I'd want someone to come visit me. Or if I felt upset about myself, I'd want someone to pick me up, so that's what I do... In fact I make it a point to put myself in others shoes and act from there. I believe there are no such things as bad people, only good people doing bad things. One of the most influential friends in my life has been in jail, drinks regularly, and has a mouth that would make a sailor blush. His humor is unrivaled. His confidence is my inspiration. He told me once when he was very drunk "People are like campsites, you always want to leave them better than you found them."
A girl I dated was a single mom. The kid's punk father bailed out on her as soon as she told him that she was expecting. She is the strongest person I've ever met. One time when I was playing with her kid, she asked me "what is wrong with me, that would make him leave?"
A hard question.
Where am I going with this? We ALL have superpowers. Our own strengths. As we grow up we experience changes, and we discover these awesome gifts we have. Superpowers like laughter, personality, spunk, character, creativity, honesty, and virtue. These are some claws that will make Wolverine look like a house kitty. You have them. All of them. You are the combination of every comic book rolled up into a celestial, beautiful package.
But as all superheroes do, we have our weaknesses. Our kryptonite. And that is self doubt. Don't give in. Stay away from THAT dark side. Sure you'll get a red light-saber, but it's not worth it. I tell you what I told that girl. "The only thing wrong with you, is that you think something is wrong with you." be strong. Make this world a place that you want your kids to be in. A place you WANT to be in. Change the world by being you. Reach out. Be there. Visit them. Call them. Cheer them up. Don't just learn names, learn people. And when you do your telepathy will be able to make people smile a million miles away.
Power up! :)
RSM