Making Some Changes

For the most part up until August, church was just sort of an "Eh... I'll go if I feel like it" sort of thing. And needless to say, I never "felt" like going. To be honest I had only gone about 3 times the whole year. Until that one night....
I was running around my block on the last Saturday of July. As I rounded the corner like I have done countless times before, there was the church building. Sweat was pouring down my back and I was near the end of my run. Still today I have no idea what it was, or where this feeling came from. It literally hit me out of nowhere.
I had an overwhelming thought, and it was so subtle I had no idea of how this little choice would change the next 3 months for me, and the thought was this: "You know you're supposed to be in there. This is where you're supposed to be"
The feeling hit me so hard that I stopped mid-run and paused. I could have sworn it was my grandpa talking to me. Earlier that week we had had our Family Get-together at Patagonia Lake. I don't remember his exact words but while my dad and I were out on the lake in his boat, he said something along the lines of "You are where the lord wants you to be" The irony of these two experiences to me scrambled my logic. I didn't know what to think of it. I walked home, and before taking off my running shoes, opened up my computer and went to lds.org. There was a singles ward that started at 2pm in that very building. I was even within the ward boundaries.
The next morning I got dressed, put on my tie, and went to the services. I walked down the halls and into the Chapel. Before I even got to my seat (back row of course) at least 3 people shook my hand and said "Are you new here?" I was shocked! The previous ward I'd been going to I'd be thrilled if anyone even looked at me!
The fast and testimony meeting was phenomenal that day. I remember it very well. I made a promise to myself. If heavenly father loves me enough to still reach out when I'm not even asking. I'm going to do the best I can to pay him back. I thought I'd had spiritual experiences before but somehow this one seemed more relevant, more directed, and deliberate. A little more love. I haven't missed a service yet, and in the 3 months I've been there I've been assigned 2 callings. (two times more than I've ever had) I keep my promise to do my best every day.
I'm now striving to become an elder. Something that I've been putting off for a very long time. My fear has been taken away, and I've replaced it with determination. I'm RE-building my foundation. I'm still struggling, but know it won't be long til my feet are firm again. I'm finding out who I really am now and I could never be more excited.

Remembering My Grandpa -

( Copied from my Myspace blog)

Hey Gramp's,
In my 5+ years working in pharmacy, I've come across hundreds of thousands of people. Some are sick, some are injured, but all of them just want to feel better.
"What's the best thing for a headache?", "I have high blood pressure, can I take these?" I can't count the times people have asked me what they can do to have a happier, healthier, and better life.
I'm not a Pharmacist. I haven't gone to Med-School, but I know what the answer is to all those questions. It took me years of studying, lots of hard work.
The lesson of life has been taught to me by example -
I wonder what someone would say if I told them that the cure for Diabetus was yawning loudly. Or that a cold can be cured by plowing a field. I can't imagine the doctor's stares when I say branding cows helps apendicitus, hauling hay for depression, irrigating for surgery recovery, Pouring vinegar in Diet Coke builds character.
I believe that divorces would stop if parent's told their kids "You're good for something, and when we figure it out, we're gonna sell you... Then we'll buy you back for half-price"
The secret of life has been taught to me by example -
Some pills mask pain, some pills make you vomit, and some pills make you eat, but the only pill that can bring happiness sits in the passenger seat.
Thank you grandpa for taking the time to drag me along while you checked on the cows. Thank you for making me slave away my summer vacations for searing hot 2 liters of Coke, and 5$ a day. Thank you for teaching me patients, while I made your field uneven.
I've learned the secret of life by example -
You taught me that the only thing that can cure everything in the world is love, laughter, and hard work. Your calloused hands are the chalk and eraser of the blackboard of my life. I know how to string a barbed wire fence, rebuild a V8 engine, and use bailing wire to fix anything. I know how to laugh when I'm hurt, sing when I'm sad, and roll on the floor when I'm happy. Like I said
"I've learned the lesson's of life by example".
Thank's Gramp's
- for teaching me everything I ever need to know.
Now I'm turning in my homework -
I hope it's not overdue. The correct answer is
I love you.

Dedicated to the most stubborn, hard working, and loving man I know
Burt E. Merrill